Moore Is Unsure

Learn to make your own jam, jam is the food of the future, jam jam jammy jam jam, egg nog is not jam.jam is jam and the jam keeps you calm but if you dont have jam dont put sugar on ham because that will not substitute a pot of jam so go on you panda man, make some jam, your kids and grandmother say "feed us the jam" and you have to say 'okey dokey' and not,'oh, sorry i am not able to put jam on the table' because then sir you bring shame on your country, your family and yourself.

JAM

I don’t know why I go to the cinema at all because I always miss the movie because I have my face stuck in a bucket of popcorn and it makes me sleepy after I eat most of it but I decided to go and see a load of films and give my review because I reckon since I’ve got eyes and basic typin skills I could review stuff.

The first film I went to see was called I walk the line It was about this guy who songed a lot in prisons and I fell asleep and cant remember much else. Then I went to see a film called broke back mountain. I assumed it was a film about Christopher Reeve but it wasn’t. I fell asleep after 10 min because there was no spinal injuries in sight. Then I went to see Grizzley man and I thought someone had put up a mirror on the screen cos I thought It was about me but I was wrong it was a film about bears so I picked a fight with the screen instead, ripped a load of it down and ate it.
Then I had to go to another cinema and I saw aeon flux. Charleeze Therong wants me. The whole film was her attempt to break out of the screen and share my popcorn with me. I then went home via the sewers to meditate on this profound event.

I just coughed up 12 pounds of what I think is ambergris. Shouldn’t have eaten all those prawn crackers last night.

I suffer, or have suffered from the following

Loftsuppostaphobia : Fear of phobias
Rastaphobia : Fear of reggae music
Fantaphobia : Fear of fizzy things
Raptexsaupositroibaloonaphobia : Fear of kites
Noodlepinchaphobia: Fear of taking a chance on the menu in a chinese restaurant and getting a really crap meal that you have to eat to save face.

I have suffered the following conditions :

Plurims syndrome :
A illness caused by a small airborne particle called stupidity that lodges in the brain after passing through the mouth and helps the brain to devise impractical schemes for making money.

Bufords Palsy :
The bones in the neck weaken until the head collapses into the body leaving the two eyes and forehead jutting out like a comical cartoon character.
This condition is caused by the brain becoming too heavy as a result of having to hold all the thoughts created by Plurims Syndrome.

The weeping sea wife :
As a result of Bufords Palsy's collapsed head, the body's lymphatic system becomes completely re-wired and the body's two major lymph glands are forced to burst out of the ears, leading to gushes of milky white lymph streaming out in time to the victims heart beat.
The extra pressure of the lymph system around the lungs and vocal chords causes strange moaning and wooing sounds to exude from the submerged mouth of the sufferer who now, not in control of their body, will often wander around in circles looking not unlike a penguin until a doctor or someone who gives a damn comes along.

1. Why do the stains on my trousers not come off when I use a biological deterrent and wash at 40000000degrees?
3. Why does god ignore my prayers and try to push me down the stairs?
2. Why does the television try to electrocute me?
4. Why is every song lionel richie ever wrote contain lyrics bout how he wants to kill me with cheese?
4.1 Why do the hands attached to my body keep putting food in my mouth?
4.4.4.4. Why do all the animals start howling when i go into a pet store, even the goldfish start ramming the sides of the fish tank like they want to beat the crap out of me

The spots on this page make me angry, they remind me of the spots I see when i get angry so they make me angry. I like being angry. I dont know why tho. Perhaps it helps my brain make spots because i get angry when i see spots and the spots on this page make me angry.

I'm not sure what the internet is. I know it gives me purnograbby and stuff like that but i don't know what it is. What's a template. Is it a temporary plate? Like a paper plate. Why does my house smell funny?? Why do i smell funny? What's the deal with god anyways? Does he want to fight me cos he'll loose cos I know people. What's the deal with making jelly, it's there in the packet and you got to melt it with boiling water to make it a different shape and then you weaken it. I like eating it out of the packet because it makes me dizzy a few minutes later.

I dunno if setting up a blog is the right thing to do..