Moore Is Unsure

Never ever video your self and your new office on your first day in your new job and then send it to me. Four years later and you're team leader now but unless you fill a large manila envelope with monies and post it to the address I'm about to mail you mr Dire, I'ma gonna undermine your authority and back on the streets you'll be.

1 .If a tree falls in the wood, is a health and safety officer needed to examine whether the hazard can be avoided or reduced by collective precautions or if a warning sign against the hazard is necessary.

2. My uncle once came to visit me in hospital. I picked the hospital because the sandwitches are cheaper than a restaurant and looking at sick people cheers me up because I'm not sick, well i am but all the sick is locked away inside my head. He asked me how my new beard was comming along. I showed him my shaven face and tried to explain how it was my joke about a nude beard but then he said a nude beard is called a chin and how sometimes people had this thing on their chin that looked like an arse. Arsechin's he called them and just then Kirk Douglas walked in and and sued everyone.

3. Some people with too much time on their hands came to visit me and brought cake. "This is nice cake" I lied to them as i forced another slice through the holes where my front teeth used to be because i couldnt get my own mouth to open to accept more because I was that disgusted. They brought some playstation games around but i do not have a playstation, they just wanted to show that they do. We watched some television for a while and i stuck one hand in my toster and the other under the running water from the sink and wished it would take me somwhere else. It took me to the far side of the room and through the patio window. I now know the difference between left and right:
Lefts the hand you set alight
Rights the one that they reattached that night

more to come

gollum was a heroin addict
just like kurt cobain
but he jumped into a volcano
instead of blowin out his brains
(because shotguns werent invented yet)

Wide screen television, high definition, sky news is panicking, hands in the air. I spit out my coffee and throw today's edition of my favourite liberal-dribble broadsheet to one side so they can have my complete and undivided attention. It is about a dead celebrity.
The celebrity that has just died appeared in films. They have a short black and white clip of the celebrity in their prime, their iconic face perfectly lit between light and dark as emotion charts across. The name of the film the clip is from fades in and out beneath along with the year it was made. Then they cut to show fuzzy telescopic lens shots of the celebrity taken a few months ago. Although blurred, they show an old and broken figure, being wheeled through a sunny park by an inattentive nurse. Are they gloating their decay or trying to warn you against even trying? Who knows and who cares because they've moved on to something else of profound importance. I'll catch it again in 15 minutes I suppose but I think I got the gist of it. Watching the news, feeling like you're involved. Congratulations, you're not ignorant or hoodwinked, but you're still powerless to ever change anything. Your heros are flawed, your icons eroded; your life needs more white noise.