Moore Is Unsure

1 .If a tree falls in the wood, is a health and safety officer needed to examine whether the hazard can be avoided or reduced by collective precautions or if a warning sign against the hazard is necessary.

2. My uncle once came to visit me in hospital. I picked the hospital because the sandwitches are cheaper than a restaurant and looking at sick people cheers me up because I'm not sick, well i am but all the sick is locked away inside my head. He asked me how my new beard was comming along. I showed him my shaven face and tried to explain how it was my joke about a nude beard but then he said a nude beard is called a chin and how sometimes people had this thing on their chin that looked like an arse. Arsechin's he called them and just then Kirk Douglas walked in and and sued everyone.

3. Some people with too much time on their hands came to visit me and brought cake. "This is nice cake" I lied to them as i forced another slice through the holes where my front teeth used to be because i couldnt get my own mouth to open to accept more because I was that disgusted. They brought some playstation games around but i do not have a playstation, they just wanted to show that they do. We watched some television for a while and i stuck one hand in my toster and the other under the running water from the sink and wished it would take me somwhere else. It took me to the far side of the room and through the patio window. I now know the difference between left and right:
Lefts the hand you set alight
Rights the one that they reattached that night

more to come