Moore Is Unsure
Whatever is confusing me is documented in horrible clarity so that you, the unsuspecting viewer can be drawn into my world of paranoia, half truths and immense stupidity.Tuesday, May 02, 2006
This months new and innovative products from Unsure Industries INC
1. The Unsure Relaxation Tape (€ 77.23)
This delightful tape consists of two 90 minute recordings
performed by a brain doctor of some kind. Side A consists
of a voice repeating "everything is fine" and is intended for use in social situations. Side B repeats "they're not out to get you, remember to breath" and is intended for use during moments of paranoia. A vital crutch for the unsure individual.
2. The Advisotron 2000 (324342355.4 yen)
The Advisotron 2000 is a device which helps the user to transmit their thoughts into other peoples heads for a radius of 500 feet in any direction. Simply put on the patented Adviso-goggles, attach the Adviso-Orb to your skull. The system will begin transmitting your thoughts through your left hand which is raised up in the air to allow for successful transmission to other individuals. We're not sure what it can be used for but don't let that stop you.
3. LEPOX Universal Pox Powder* (2 Rupee)
Got pox? Simply take a generous spoon of LEPOX* every hour you'll be right as rain
that has fallen from a correct cloud...maybe.
*LEPOX contains asbestos, lots of asbestos.
And it's bloggers fault the layout is so sucky on this.
This delightful tape consists of two 90 minute recordings
performed by a brain doctor of some kind. Side A consists
of a voice repeating "everything is fine" and is intended for use in social situations. Side B repeats "they're not out to get you, remember to breath" and is intended for use during moments of paranoia. A vital crutch for the unsure individual.
2. The Advisotron 2000 (324342355.4 yen)
The Advisotron 2000 is a device which helps the user to transmit their thoughts into other peoples heads for a radius of 500 feet in any direction. Simply put on the patented Adviso-goggles, attach the Adviso-Orb to your skull. The system will begin transmitting your thoughts through your left hand which is raised up in the air to allow for successful transmission to other individuals. We're not sure what it can be used for but don't let that stop you.
3. LEPOX Universal Pox Powder* (2 Rupee)
Got pox? Simply take a generous spoon of LEPOX* every hour you'll be right as rain
that has fallen from a correct cloud...maybe.
*LEPOX contains asbestos, lots of asbestos.
And it's bloggers fault the layout is so sucky on this.
posted by Molton Boron # 1:37 am
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