Moore Is Unsure

In a futile bid to drag myself from a haze of smoke and daggers, kicking and screaming and kicking, into a more conscious and productive life of grime i decided to incorporate the age-old technique of dangling a carrot in front of my face using a empty loo roll and some balin' twine.

All was going well until i realised that not only was the carrot not a carrot - the carrot was in fact the much heralded/maligned comic/slash/actor, Jasper Carrot! Fancy that.