Moore Is Unsure
Whatever is confusing me is documented in horrible clarity so that you, the unsuspecting viewer can be drawn into my world of paranoia, half truths and immense stupidity.Sunday, December 02, 2007
I learned to read!
you might be asking how i got so damn smart lately well, I started reading books. its a slow process and my finger gets sore tracing the words as i read them but here are some reviews of what i've gotten through so far...
1. Sherlock Holmes and the lack of forensic evidence by arthur conan doyle: Holmes faces his toughest crime yet; a visiting Russian princess found strangled in an alleyway with no other evidence left to unmask her killer. The rope used leaves no threads and the bruises on her neck bear no distinctive weave that can be used to even get the ball rolling. There are no items of interest dropped in the struggle and the nights rain has washed away anything else of possible value. Left without anything to run with, Holmes makes a rubbish excuse and returns to his opium addicition. At three pages long its an underwhelming read and shows that Conan Doyle was probably growing bored with his famous creation at this point.
2. The Maeve Binchy Code by Maeve Binchy : John and Finoula find an ancient manuscript that details how to bring about the end of the world whilst looking for a Jamie Oliver cookbook in Johns tumbledown mansion that he inherited along with a load of handy subplots that would keep a boring novel trundling along for 500 pages. They decide to sell it on ebay to raise money for restores to the mansion and hopefully have enough left over for Finoula to open a little bistro in the village. While a war between the forces of good and evil over the destiny of humanity rages around them, John and Finoula feel a dreary romantic attraction build and get into all sorts of cringy misunderstandings. The tagline for this book is "who cares about the apocalypse; I don’t want to be a spinster so give me a kiss". This book filled me with rage, gave me headaches and made me want to drink bleach just so that i might go blind and then if i did I'd probably cut my own fingers off in case I learned Braille and one day accidentally read the book again. Also considering what to do in case I got it on audio book. Sickening. Just when i was starting to take Feminism seriously this comes along and wham! they’re back where they started.
3. Apache Pizza Take Away Menu by Anon : This is the most intense pamphlet I've read in a while, bristling with tension and stomach cramps as the eye is treated to a waltz of text and image. I ordered a wagon wheel with EVERRRYTHING. This is best read while you eat your pizza so you can both feed and fantasize about what you want on your next pizza. Beat that Maeve Binchy.
1. Sherlock Holmes and the lack of forensic evidence by arthur conan doyle: Holmes faces his toughest crime yet; a visiting Russian princess found strangled in an alleyway with no other evidence left to unmask her killer. The rope used leaves no threads and the bruises on her neck bear no distinctive weave that can be used to even get the ball rolling. There are no items of interest dropped in the struggle and the nights rain has washed away anything else of possible value. Left without anything to run with, Holmes makes a rubbish excuse and returns to his opium addicition. At three pages long its an underwhelming read and shows that Conan Doyle was probably growing bored with his famous creation at this point.
2. The Maeve Binchy Code by Maeve Binchy : John and Finoula find an ancient manuscript that details how to bring about the end of the world whilst looking for a Jamie Oliver cookbook in Johns tumbledown mansion that he inherited along with a load of handy subplots that would keep a boring novel trundling along for 500 pages. They decide to sell it on ebay to raise money for restores to the mansion and hopefully have enough left over for Finoula to open a little bistro in the village. While a war between the forces of good and evil over the destiny of humanity rages around them, John and Finoula feel a dreary romantic attraction build and get into all sorts of cringy misunderstandings. The tagline for this book is "who cares about the apocalypse; I don’t want to be a spinster so give me a kiss". This book filled me with rage, gave me headaches and made me want to drink bleach just so that i might go blind and then if i did I'd probably cut my own fingers off in case I learned Braille and one day accidentally read the book again. Also considering what to do in case I got it on audio book. Sickening. Just when i was starting to take Feminism seriously this comes along and wham! they’re back where they started.
3. Apache Pizza Take Away Menu by Anon : This is the most intense pamphlet I've read in a while, bristling with tension and stomach cramps as the eye is treated to a waltz of text and image. I ordered a wagon wheel with EVERRRYTHING. This is best read while you eat your pizza so you can both feed and fantasize about what you want on your next pizza. Beat that Maeve Binchy.
posted by Molton Boron # 11:29 pm 
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