Whatever is confusing me is documented in horrible clarity so that you, the unsuspecting viewer can be drawn into my world of paranoia, half truths and immense stupidity.
I met Bagpuss trying to bore some corpses he had dug up in the graveyard the other morning.
Even tho they were dead they looked like they were in pain from the sound of Bagpuss's voice. "You guys have all the fun" he grumbled, "I'm loosing my fur and you're there all green and yellow and mellow. It's just not fair!".
He had a little cry and then buried the corpses again.
Bagpuss tried to say "miaow" but it sounded like "urrrrgggghhhhh". After that he went to a cat party and stared at all the other cats with a big cross look on his face like he was constipated.